Saturday, January 19, 2013

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Well, after an ambulance ride to Mount Forest Emergency Dept on January 10^th, then transferred to 6^th floor Respiratory at St. Mary’s, I had an interesting, frustrating and positive stay there.  Since my admission, I’ve experienced 4 different room mates, then an ambulance ride to Grand River yesterday for a morning visit.

The treatment was finished by 10:30 am but because of improper communication were left there on a stretcher until 3:30 pm – very frustrating day.

I just got back to my bed, starting to doze and rest when my bed started moving, people were talking, hitting walls, etc. etc. So I just kept my eyes closed and ‘let them’ do what they needed to do!

Anyway, by the time they got me settled in another room, I opened my eyes and in the other bed was a little Granny with EIGHT people surrounding her bed.  They all seemed to be talking at once – it was like watching “The View” – so you can imagine the noise/stress level in the room and amount of patience left in me by this time!

THIS IS A WARNING – IF YOU ARE LEARY ABOUT BOWEL MOVEMENTS, PLEASE STOP READING!  THIS IS GOING TO BE NASTY!

I have been trying to get to a solid bowel movement since beginning of December, working really hard with food, etc.

So, coincidentally, I did what ANY NORMAL FARM GIRL WOULD DO – a culmination of the biggest, baddest, smelliest bowel movement IN MY LIFE!  The HUGE HONKIN’ HARRY (aka H.H.H.) diaper was hanging almost to my knees!  Did I mention ‘smelly’?

It resulted in 8 people marching past the bed and out of the room – looked like the North Korean Army going full speed.  It didn’t help that we were fanning from the other side of the curtain (and trying to keep our giggles under control).  I know this is so gross but I think I did Granny a favour.

All I could hear was this tiny voice saying “please let me go” but nobody was listening to her.

But WAIT – it gets worse!  I then realize that they were here from England, BC, etc. because she was dying.

A fan was then installed in the room because “Granny was warm………………….”

It gets EVEN WORSE!  While on the phone suggesting I might have killed her with my BM smell, the minister came in, so how there were 9 people around the bed. While I couldn’t stop giggling about the idea, the other side of the curtain got totally quiet to pray and I’m on the phone and can’t stop giggling, and coughing and giggling and coughing.  I was so embarrassed because I couldn’t stop………………

I have a sick sense of humour so please forgive me.

Anyway, I’m now being transferred and on my way to Louise Marshall Hospital in MF for CCAC assessment and in isolation for a few days.  Hopefully to be able to go back home. 

Hope I didn’t gross you out with my blog today but I did issue a warning before I started my story!  I’m positive I got my sick sense of humor from my first cousins – you know who you are!!!!

When the ambulance passed Baseline Road, I saw a little thing trying to flag me down – she was wearing a pink tutu, a pink hockey helmet waving a hockey stick covered in pink tape, wanting a ride.  She must have gotten loose from Bob and I’m sure she’d be causing havoc.  There are a lot of nice people there, so I’m sure the little devil will be well fed.  I just have to make sure she doesn’t make a pig of herself and minds her manners.

Hope you have a great day – I intend to,……………now that I’m heading closer to home……………….