LAST BLOG - Wednesday, January 23, 2013

LAST BLOG

OKAY, THE JIG’S UP!

For the last month or so, I was happy to know there were three things that were working – I could still walk, still type and still talk.  Well, the walking is gone – my energy level is so bad that I can only be dragged around – so I am bed-ridden now.

Since I went to St. Mary’s Hospital on January 10th,  I suffered a burst tumor on my lung, was diagnosed with diabetes, had a collapsed lung,  my angina reared its ugly head and I’m now having trouble typing, so I’m in the process of losing the second last thing. Unfortunately this will have to be my last blog.

I’m in Louise Marshall Hospital in Mount Forest, getting assessed by CCAC and waiting to go home for however long I have left.  Unfortunately I am fatal and in a hospice situation.  Because of the Central Nervous System Lymphoma, I don’t know how long my mind is going to last before it goes “back to the main street of India”.

I had a lot of fun with this blog, especially with Munching Myrtle – she was a hoot!  Glad you enjoyed her.  Thanks for putting up with all my silly stories about her.

I would like each of you to do me a favour:

·         GET OVER YOURSELF

·         Get your nose out of your video game or your IPhone

·         Inspire someone

·         Say something positive to a total stranger

·         Instead of complaining about something to a company, call when something good happens to you or your bill - they will be shocked!

·         Volunteer anywhere – offer your services even if it’s once a day, once a week, once a month or once a year delivering for the Food Bank.

·         Smile at a total stranger

·         Offer to help someone, anyone

·         Make someone feel good by telling them a colour makes them sparkle or look especially good that day – they will remember that compliment the next time they wear that scarf, coat, etc.

·         Learn to appreciate life – look around you – watch the sky, appreciate the flowers, the landscape and the beautiful country we live in

·         Appreciate your partner – thank him/her every single day for being in your life

·         Respect and love him/her with all your might

·         Talk to God every day – thank him for the privilege of being here on earth – you don’t have to pray per se – just talk directly to him – that’s praying.

·         Ask God to  direct you, he knows what you need.

·         Hug your children – when they enter a room, look them in the eye, smile and let them know you are happy they are in your life

·         GET OVER YOURSELF!

I  thank ALL of you for the privilege and honor of knowing you.

xox

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Well, after an ambulance ride to Mount Forest Emergency Dept on January 10^th, then transferred to 6^th floor Respiratory at St. Mary’s, I had an interesting, frustrating and positive stay there.  Since my admission, I’ve experienced 4 different room mates, then an ambulance ride to Grand River yesterday for a morning visit.

The treatment was finished by 10:30 am but because of improper communication were left there on a stretcher until 3:30 pm – very frustrating day.

I just got back to my bed, starting to doze and rest when my bed started moving, people were talking, hitting walls, etc. etc. So I just kept my eyes closed and ‘let them’ do what they needed to do!

Anyway, by the time they got me settled in another room, I opened my eyes and in the other bed was a little Granny with EIGHT people surrounding her bed.  They all seemed to be talking at once – it was like watching “The View” – so you can imagine the noise/stress level in the room and amount of patience left in me by this time!

THIS IS A WARNING – IF YOU ARE LEARY ABOUT BOWEL MOVEMENTS, PLEASE STOP READING!  THIS IS GOING TO BE NASTY!

I have been trying to get to a solid bowel movement since beginning of December, working really hard with food, etc.

So, coincidentally, I did what ANY NORMAL FARM GIRL WOULD DO – a culmination of the biggest, baddest, smelliest bowel movement IN MY LIFE!  The HUGE HONKIN’ HARRY (aka H.H.H.) diaper was hanging almost to my knees!  Did I mention ‘smelly’?

It resulted in 8 people marching past the bed and out of the room – looked like the North Korean Army going full speed.  It didn’t help that we were fanning from the other side of the curtain (and trying to keep our giggles under control).  I know this is so gross but I think I did Granny a favour.

All I could hear was this tiny voice saying “please let me go” but nobody was listening to her.

But WAIT – it gets worse!  I then realize that they were here from England, BC, etc. because she was dying.

A fan was then installed in the room because “Granny was warm………………….”

It gets EVEN WORSE!  While on the phone suggesting I might have killed her with my BM smell, the minister came in, so how there were 9 people around the bed. While I couldn’t stop giggling about the idea, the other side of the curtain got totally quiet to pray and I’m on the phone and can’t stop giggling, and coughing and giggling and coughing.  I was so embarrassed because I couldn’t stop………………

I have a sick sense of humour so please forgive me.

Anyway, I’m now being transferred and on my way to Louise Marshall Hospital in MF for CCAC assessment and in isolation for a few days.  Hopefully to be able to go back home. 

Hope I didn’t gross you out with my blog today but I did issue a warning before I started my story!  I’m positive I got my sick sense of humor from my first cousins – you know who you are!!!!

When the ambulance passed Baseline Road, I saw a little thing trying to flag me down – she was wearing a pink tutu, a pink hockey helmet waving a hockey stick covered in pink tape, wanting a ride.  She must have gotten loose from Bob and I’m sure she’d be causing havoc.  There are a lot of nice people there, so I’m sure the little devil will be well fed.  I just have to make sure she doesn’t make a pig of herself and minds her manners.

Hope you have a great day – I intend to,……………now that I’m heading closer to home……………….

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Well, we are still here at St. Mary’s – looks as if I will be here for a bit.  Decisions are being made in the next couple of days – hopefully we are heading toward R. #3 Clifford.  Right now, it’s another wait and see game.

Brenda Lee was discharged - thank goodness.  I didn't have to kill her.  A very nice quiet lady replaced her and we have a very nice quiet time together.

Munching Myrtle is very, very upset!  She is sitting at home, in the pantry, pouting and waiting for Bob to get home each night.  She is having trouble getting the tops off the sweet containers, opening the rest of the chocolate bar.

You should see the crazy way he has to escape out to the garage door each morning, shoving her back into the house – she wants to come with him to the hospital, there are LOTS of goodies in the different rooms here.

OH MY GOODNESS – look who’s coming through the door.  It looks as if she called a cab…………..walking in here wearing her little pink tutu – wants Bob to pay her cab fare.  She checked my ‘stash’, didn’t like the pear and apple sitting here so she’s GONE hunting to other rooms…………yikes……………..we might get thrown out of here yet!

Will update when we know more details.  It’s like a toilet seat around here – up and down, up and down.

Bob is saying good-night – trust  he can find the little brat – I don’t want her running around  here all night causing havoc!!!

Have a good evening.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Yup, you guessed it – back into hospital again.  I like to have variety – between Louise Marshall in Mount Forest, Grand River and now back to St. Mary’s.  I was transferred here Wednesday evening.  At first I had a little gal (room partner) who was very quiet but discharged yesterday.

Then came a 4’ 8” very LOUD Brenda Lee who coughs VERY LOUD, usually 50-60 VERY LOUD COUGHS in a row, then instead of resting in between, swears VERY LOUDLY until her next 50-60 VERY LOUD COUGHS, then onto her swearing, on and on, on and on.

They must have drugged her really well last night, because I turned my light off at midnight and didn’t wake up until 6:15 am for meds, went back to sleep and was awakened at 7:00 am – the longest sleep I’ve had in months.

I’m expecting her to jump  up on a chair and belt out ROCKIN’ AROUND THE CHRISTMAS TREE any minute now.  If so, I’m going to muster every inch of energy I have and slap her down!

And of course Bob is in an Ultimate Fighting competition with Munching Myrtle on the home front.  She had to get rid of her pink tutu because this is a serious fight.  She’s hanging on tightly to her Dark PC Chocolate Bar, but Bob says he’s going to win!

I’m in here for sure until Monday and Tuesday (transfers each day to GrandRiver for tests and appointments), then hopefully they will send me home on Wednesday.

I’m glad I can hook up with the server here at St. Mary’s so will be able to blog again or you will see my picture in handcuffs in the Record, charged with manslaughter!

Patience, Dianne, Patience………………………………………………………………………

Have a good day!

 

                                      

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Well, you should see what’s coming out the Pantry Door! Here she is, my pal Munching Myrtle, wearing a pink tutu (thinks that will make her part of the pink Hockey Team), a big smile, with her arms above her head………………carrying a 300 gm President’s Choice EXTRA DARK Product of France CHOCOLATE BAR!!!!

It is so heavy for her, she’s teetering back and forth.

She has looked at the ingredients and says 1/8 of the bar has 4 g protein and 4 g fibre.  She has now fallen over with this big thing on her lap, staring and waiting for an answer.  It is 4 am and a little hard to process at this time of the morning.  The little pink tutu moves every 5 minutes or so – it’s hard to ignore.  We’ll see!

Bits and pieces today. 

Same old, same old health wise – just trying to stay healthy by avoiding any colds/flu carriers and getting lots of rest, eating healthy, getting lots of protein, fibre and  trying to save my energy.

I’ve always wondered:

·         Why we see lots of deer around here until hunting season starts – then they disappear until the end of hunting season which is December 31^st .  On January 1^st, they reappear – do you think they get an email telling them the danger is over?  It’s also interesting that the big Daddy Buck will send ‘the wife’ and little ones ahead of him to make sure everything is okay, then HE steps out into the open……………..

·         Did you ever notice birds gathering on a wire around the same time each night (at least in the summer time) – sitting side by side ON THE SAME WIRE – how do they know where to meet?  There are hundreds of thousands of wires in the area, yet manage to go to the same one! Do you think they have emails too?

·         How do Christmas Cactus plants know when Christmas time is here?  (at least everyone but mine)

·         We have a LOT of birds flying in large flocks around the farm here – how and why do they never run into each other and fall to the ground?

I got this in an email the other day and thought it was cute but also food for thought:

 Today, we're giving you a D AILY SURVIVAL KIT to help you each day............

Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone, including yourself. Rubber band ... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not always go the way you want, but it can be worked out. Band-Aid ... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or someone else's.

Eraser ... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by our errors. Candy Kiss ... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment everyday. Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family & me. Bubble Gum ... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything. Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.

Now for my rant for the day:

A baby named Veronica was born to a mother with two other children – the mother gave her up for adoption – the adopted parents were in the room at the time of the delivery and agreed to an ‘open adoption’ where the mother could be involved in the life of the little girl.  This was done for two years.  Veronica was raised in a loving home, bonding with her loving new parents.  The father signed off on the child, agreeing not to participate as long as he didn’t have to pay child support.

THEN, because the father is part of the Cherokee tribe, either he or the Tribe, decided that Veronica should be exposed and raised as a Cherokee, and applied to get her back.  All along the adoptive parents said that no matter whether Veronica was Chinese, Vietnamese, Russian, etc. they intended to expose her to her culture to make sure and let her know all about her heritage.

Well, guess what – it went all the way to the Supreme Court in South Carolina and THEY RULED FOR THE FATHER!!  She is now living in Oklahoma with the Dad.

Apparently, there is an appeal going on to overturn an Indian law from 1978.

Can you imagine what this is doing to the parents after 9 failed in-vitro attempts and finally getting such a beautiful child?  Can you imagine what it is doing to Veronica?

Anyway, I’m appalled that this can happen in today’s society.  Let’s cheer for the adoptive parents AND for Veronica to get back to her loving home!!  I’m waiting to get the results of that appeal and hope people use their common sense!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Anyway, there is some rustling still going on in the corner, with pink ‘stuff’ moving every now and then and still a lot of staring going on……………..but…………..it is 5:30 am and not a good time for a chocolate bar, so she’s going to have to wait – I’m going down for a nap.  She can suffer for awhile.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Well, we have trouble!

The old gal Munching Myrtle finally overdosed on Monica’s brandy filled Christmas Cake – we had to take her to Homewood in Guelph; we got her into the 28 day alcohol treatment program.  But then after a few days , called to ask us to remove her.  She just became too unruly for them to handle.   What a girl – so she’s back in the closet, flat on her back, with duct tape on her mouth, recuperating……………we check up on her now and then and I’m sure she will have a full recovery.

I’ve always wondered how and why people are able to motivate and/or be motivated and do things they never thought they could EVER do, lucky enough to have a mentor in their lives.

I received a beautiful hand-written card the other day from the most inspiring mentor of all! 

While doing volunteer work at a local Addiction Agency, the overworked Executive Director/Counselor approached me, suggesting she would like to focus on counseling and wanted to be relieved of her ED duties.  She wanted to suggest me to replace her!  I was stunned; but apparently she saw something in me that I certainly didn’t recognize.  She promised she would mentor me for as long as I needed.

Well I ended up applying for the position.  I was so unsure of myself that my application included putting myself on probation, getting paid but reimbursing the agency  for 3 MONTHS as a charitable donation.  If they were happy with me, then they could start paying me for real.

Well, it turned out they were more than pleased, and I ran the agency for 3 years.  I renovated the location by doubling the number of rooms available, mostly done with donations from local companies and doubled the number of counsellors.  We were able to obtain a  gambling addiction certification for one of the counselors – a first and only for KW at that time.  Another important part of the mix was through all of this, we were able to turn the agency from a red to a black financial position. 

Now I am going to be the first to tell you – I DID NOT DO ANY OF THIS BY MYSELF.  We had an amazing Board of Directors built up, incredible staff and built up a volunteer staff of 16, all who would come in on week-ends working sledge-hammers and do whatever was needed to demolish the additional space we were able to rent (including fighting and killing rats!).  And……a recently retired gentleman from Zehr’s named John, with LOTS of connections, who took on the role of Project Manger definitely helped!

Another thing this smart and beautiful lady named Anne said to me.  The first time she met Bob, she told me we were meant for each other and that she would HIGHLY recommend that we stay together, giving me 8 step-children.  We all know how that turned out and what a wise decision that was!

Over the years, we’ve met and became friends with her lovely daughter Bethany, who guess what, just happens to be as caring, beautiful and supportive as her Mom – no surprise there.  So a big thank you Anne for changing, recognizing something I obviously never knew I had in me and giving purpose and  meaning to my life.

My point is – it’s amazing what any of us can do when we see potential in another person, be it a child, a friend, or even a total stranger.  Give them incentive – help them see what they can accomplish – encouragement is a wonderful thing - It could change their lives……………………..and yours.  It certainly did change mine!

Another interesting thing has happened to me.

At the beginning of this cancer saga, I started this blog because I wanted to save time.  I was emailing different people at different times updating, etc. and it became a big hassle, so decided to do something different.

It has gotten out of control, some days getting over 100 hits!  Apparently it’s become enlightening, powerful and meaningful to a lot of people.  I certainly didn’t have that intention, thinking it a way to get things off my chest, have a little fun and introducing that little witch (my alter-ego steroid Munching Myrtle).

Here again, this is something I NEVER thought I would be able to do!

I’m glad people are enjoying it.  I will keep it up but seriously not on a daily basis, just when I think of something or if anything changes here.

The new and improved prescriptions for my side effects are kicking in so that should make life easier for me.  It will help us hockey players dressed in pink, to stick handle our way around “The McAllister’s Point of View” near Mount Forest.

Have a good day – and inspire someone today, if you can.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Good morning folks.

I never seem ask why things happen to me – just accept what comes my way and ask God to give me the strength to handle whatever is coming.  Well, yesterday morning I was ½ inch from giving up, losing hope and asking the big question WHY this has to happen to ME!!!!!!!!  At this wonderful time of my life??????

So I’m going to admit that I had a little, no BIG breakdown.  So off to bed I went, experiencing a HUGE pity party.  Losing hope and giving up is a terrible thing.

Then I began to think of all the positive things that have come my way in the past few months. 

I thought about:

·         The many cards, notes, letters and emails – some coming daily from the same sources

·         Being put on prayer lists of almost every religious denominations on the map

·         The daily prayers and masses being offered in my name

·         The donations to various charities in my name

The people who thought about and changed their priorities in life

People who starting bonding with each other

Started telling their loved ones they loved them for the first time ever, including me

Positive things seemed to be happening around us (with couples and their children)

The outpouring of love was amazing

·         The amount of food being delivered, soups, entrees, protein appetizers, desserts, fruit baskets, cookies, Christmas cake, Ford Tough muffins, and including a full sized ham!

·         Books and info being delivered re protein and fiber, etc.

·         Daily cards from a friend in Florida – she must be running out of money, buying cards and stamps

·         The respect and understanding of people who stay away from visiting so they aren’t carriers of ‘bugs’

·         Hearing about a goal being scored “for my Grandma” by a first year 10 year old hockey player in his week-end tournament

·         A prayer shawl being delivered from a church previously unknown to me – me, a total stranger to them

·         Lots of angels watching over me from heaven for sure but it seems I have even more angels surrounding me here on earth, especially my sweetheart Bob

·         A reminder from my beautiful and inspirational Aunt Rose that miracles DO happen and

·         Thinking about my buddy Gerry Stemmler and saying the phrase “If Gerry can do, I can too!”

So after 4 hours of my Pity Party, and remembering the analogy from daughter-in-law Lee about hockey, I picked up the 2 way radio and asked “Are there any hockey players in the house?” and in rushed Bob.  When asked if he was in for another round he said ‘Of course, I’m in!”

So today,we are dressed with PINK big girl/boy HOCKEY pants and going into the next period, maybe even into overtime – who knows.  We are on Day 4 of the new regime – we may get a month or we may get into the miracle overtime and get to dance years from now, like Gerry! 

The Pink McAllisters are on the move – we kicked Munching Myrtle to the curb for today, but we KNOW she’s still a part of this team (she says she doesn’t like pink…………………) – but think she’ll get used to it.

This morning my heart is full again and so grateful for every minute of every day we can experience in this great big beautiful world.

One thing I’m going to change is that I won’t be writing on this blog every day but just when there’s an update, if I have any new ideas (or rants, of course) and when I have extra energy.

Feel free to check in periodically.

Have a wonderful day – we will be busy playing hockey!